How do you trust someone?
This is one question that nags most of us sometime or the other. However for Miny, this was the wrong question. Reason was pretty simple; she chose never to trust anyone. For her the question was, “why to trust at all?” Her life was good, she was happy so there was no reason to give control of that happiness to another person by trusting them.
“How was your date?” Smita, Miny’s roommate asked her.
“Oh, it was fun, he was nice.”
“So, when is the fun happening again?”
“Oh you know me, fun never repeats with the same person. He was nice but that was it.”
Miny had answered her roomie’s questions satisfactorily, or at-least she thought she had. She had met this guy, he was really nice, and she enjoyed herself a lot in his company, but decided that she was, she wouldn’t take it further ahead even if she was curious to see where it might go.
Miny was not an arrogant girl, instead she had a soft heart and cared about her loved ones a lot deeper than she let on. She would get affectionate with any person much sooner than expected of her; she would care for them and would be willing to go at lengths for her near and dear ones if so needed. She adored her friends, loved her family and if she happened to be in love with a certain someone, than they were lucky indeed, for she was loyal to the core and valued her relationships above all else.
Despite that, the face she put up to the world was of a carefree girl, to whom people mattered only to a limit, beyond which she just didn’t care. Years of heart-brakes, loss of trust, lying by most trusted friends have hardened her heart. She had one heart-break; she thought everyone was not the same so she gave herself and life another chance, only to have fallen face front in a heap of lies again. Each time she took some time to learn from mistakes, to heal her broken self and move on with her life. She kept giving people chances only to be disappointed again.
So now her mantra in life was not to get attached at all, no attachment, no trust, no disappointment, and life continues happily ever after. She knew deep sown that each time it’s not the other person who is wrong, many times both were right from their respective perspectives, situation was at fault, but she still ended up getting hurt, emotional that she was no matter how much she feigned otherwise. Lately she started believing that she didn’t care about anyone, more than the current moment and she was happy in that moment. If only, life was that simple for Miny.
Few years ago she dearly loved Raghav, theirs was the truly madly deeply type of sweet innocent blind love, we see in the movies. That sweet love later turned bitter, when her trust was broken, heart was shattered, and she was left to pick up the pieces and figure out her life again. That left a hole in her heart, one which she still hadn’t been able to fill up. She was totally over him, but her faith in love was shattered, with her heart. So, now if she was attracted to someone, it was just I the moment, she attached no expectations or feelings to that.
It was three months after that first date with Nishant, contrary to what she told Smita, she had continued seeing Nishant over the following weeks, and she didn’t even realise when she started getting attached to him. She felt instant connection with him. It was after years she was getting attached to him; her feelings for him were growing day by day. It all happened so soon, it was beyond her control; she couldn’t apply her usual rule of ‘keeping in the moment only’. This had gone far beyond just one moment. She was falling for him whether she wanted to accept that fact or not, it had already happened. She was happy in that feeling, she gave trust another chance, more like trust acted without her consent this time and took control.
It was now four months to that first date, Miny suddenly realised that he has been acting strange lately, they had that first fight. He has been making excuses and not meeting her like the usual, they had fights, and he suddenly didn’t seem to care about her as earlier. Things were going south and she could sense it. Three times her calls were ignored. Miny was not the kind of person who took ignorance of any kind lightly. For her it was simple, if a person cannot bother to attend your call, not worth your time. However, this wasn’t just any person, after so long she was falling for him. She didn’t want to ruin it. But, she also wanted to protect her heart at all costs.
So, this one time answer to ‘Why to trust’ was clear enough to her, although it was ‘How to trust’ that she was now struggling with. Her experiences have taught her one thing at-least, nobody is worthy of blind trust, and this whole situation seemed shady to her, so now Miny was struggling with ‘How to trust?’
Should she just give up, set her mind and move on from this situation also, or should she put her heart on the platter and dive in a big risk. She didn’t know if her heart and mind can survive another episode of mistrust, but she also wasn’t one to shy away from tough situations.
Making her mind, she decided to give Nishant a chance, a chance at trust, a chance to justify all the shades causing confusion and doubt. It was one chance, if he misses it, then all is over and Miny would once again surround herself with walls of zero attachment. If he utilised this one chance, then perhaps life will show how beautiful it gets when love fills it for the both of them.
Ultimately trust is an angel when the trusted respects it, other times trust is merely a devil dressed as an angel
P.S.This post is a complete work of fiction bearing no resemblance to any living or dead person. 😉