Life in general was always good for her. She was one of those persons who viewed the glass as half full and not empty. She accepted whatever life threw her way with a pinch of salt. Her mantra was that she could make the best of all resources in a given situation and make it into something worthwhile.
This was Naina, who usually got compliments ranging from beautiful to charming, sensible to intelligent. People around her perceived her as a bright ray of sunshine. She could easily make her friends solve their problems, she could bring a smile to a sad face. The word impossible was not a part of her dictionary. To others she was a 24×7 happy bird.
Naina’s loved ones weren’t totally wrong in how they perceived her. But alas she was a human with her own apprehensions and ambiguities. Most days she successfully handled her emotions and kept her cool. But sometimes even she found it hard to keep going on.
She had a history of heart break, so now she feared love. She thought of it as Bermuda Triangle, if she went near it, she will get caught up and drown herself. Naina had been seeing someone for a few months. Her fear of falling in love kept her from letting her heart get attached. So she decided not to over think this and just enjoy what life was offering her.
She felt at peace with Akshat, hours would fly by and they still seemed less to her. When he was away she started missing him. She felt like this after so long, she was happy to have found such a person she felt so blissful with. She didn’t spend every waking minute thinking of him, but she did miss him when not with him. She was happy to feel all this but she didn’t let her heart admit that she may be falling for Akshat. As the risk of her heart breaking was too big to let that happen.
The last time her heart broke she promised herself, she won’t give anyone that much reign over herself. She wasn’t one to break promises. So no she knew she was not in love. But there was something bothering Naina since a couple of weeks. She still went by her daily life as usual, no one could tell she was almost crumbling on the inside. At first she couldn’t fathom as to what were the reasons behind it. Then she gradually realized it was Akshat. He seemed distant than usual. She thought may be he was losing interest in her. Other times she would defend him by telling herself he must be busy. However, lots of things seemed off between them. Perhaps she was just some girl for him and not the girl.
All this while She kept telling herself that, “it doesn’t matter to me anyways as remember I don’t want to be in love myself”. Naina could do everything but sharing her fears and sorrows with others was not something which she found easy. She was fighting her battles… Heart v/s mind. She was not the type to blame Akshat for any of this though and rightly so, as he didn’t even know what was happening inside her.
She had all these doubts about her feelings and his as well. She knew she needed to talk to him, but she couldn’t bring herself to ask him. These nagging thoughts were eating her from inside though. She had all these questions which remained answer less.
One morning she woke up with a start, dreamed she was falling off a high rise building. That put everything in a different perspective. She decided she was lucky to have had those experiences, that she wouldn’t judge or assume about him. She will let things flow, if its meant to happen it will happen and if not…well she will still have a wonderful experience.
She finally accepted that she liked him a little too much and if it’s not reciprocated both ways then too it’s fine. Yes she will have an emotional breakdown for a short while but she knew she will rise from those ashes again and will continue having wonderful experiences. Yes she still has her doubts and fears but that won’t stop her from following her heart either. She still has her defenses, whether or not Akshat is competent enough to break through them and make a permanent space for himself in her heart is yet to be seen.
Life is too short to be wasted away in confusions and fears, take timely actions and leave no scope for regrets.
P.S. all characters and situations in the above post are a work of fiction and have no relation to any person living or dead. 🙂